It started of so sweet that every thing is about what i dream of as a young wonderful (like a person who wonders many things, not a wonderful like what you think a wonderful is) lady when i am awake. It was just perfect that even in dreams my aspirations are achieved.
Yes, i actually have seen myself in a court having my first trial, (and the first thing i have observed? i look so thin in there! And guess who i look like? JULIA ROBERTS! Oh, men! I am not sure if i was her in there. If she was, maybe it is a movie of my life.) anyway, i look good on those gladiator stillettos, those pair of white slacks, that really nice dark blazer and gray inner, as well as those pearls made of my chocker, a pair of earrings, a ring, and bracelet. I am definitely sure about looking stunning with my hair pushed back, lips of golden champagne, eye shadow of deep tan and bronze cheeks. Well my audience? Instead of being convinced with my probing are astonished by my beauty! How about that?
After i amazed everyone, i went home in my own red ferarri with a music tune in my favorite songs. The day ended with a positive view of life with my parents and sister.
That dream shifted into something i would do seven years from now, MARRYING THE MAN OF MY DREAM! That ideal man who'd i'll share the rest of my beautiful life with, that man i called 'YOU' on my letters, that man who i imagine he is, that man who would grow old with me and that man who doesn't have his name YET (name, which i mean a literal name and not the name of dignity, because he should have that just before i even met him).
Marriage under the sunset on the seashore, with those bells of love ringing loudly in our hearts, with that discreet awareness of happily ever after, white doves freed in the air that signals the purity of love and fairness of life, the cheerful breezes brought by the afternoon wind, the calm waves and the happiness of the people around us complete the drama of the marriage scene.
Then, we had our kids, we send them to school and bring them back home together, we will have a full-blast of sunday family day and we will go on trips around the world. Life was just so perfect and everything was in place!
Unfortunately now, that was the "SWEETDREAM" part.
Here comes the "NIGHTMARE"..
It was "ME" after work at my present workplace (SUTHERLAND GS), when i received the bad news that someone is sick to death but i wasn't so sure about who's who among my love ones. When i got home, my sister and mum have seriously bags under their eyes and were literally sobbing on all their might, i had a clue then. I ask them what the cries are for and they told me that my father whom i love dearly is in his death bed. I look at him, at his weak eyes, he was shivering, his whole body changed its color, his hand was shaking, my tears fell, but i have to be strong, so i pretended i am. I treat him as normal as i could, like the way i treat him every morning when i arrive from work, i ask if he wanted coffee and "pandesal" so he could take his medicines, he shake his head, so i nodded. My mum is still crying, so i told her to stop and asked her to cook great food for lunch, then my pop in front of me took his LAST DEEP BREATH just before i even said thank you because he took care of me since i was little! That hurts! Then, i cried a river of lonesome and sorrow. It was awful. I was awful. My life is awful.
My pop did not even see me up the stage attaining the threshold of my mind's capability of dreaming, his grandchildren and the future life i could give him. IT WAS JUST FRUSTRATING AND UPSETTING! I did not maximize my purpose! I love him, enough to give up my whole life for him.
That was how that dream turned out, my fairytale was not as good as CINDERELLA'S, SNOW WHITE'S, AURORA'S OR BARBIE'S.
Nevertheless, it was a good awakening. A relay that before i even let go of him, i should have shown him what I GOT! And show the world what i could live for!
I WILL!
YES, I WILL!
I SWEAR!
YES, I SWEAR!
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