(this was written 5th of January, 2011)
Oh, what a question from YOU (of all the people)?! Eff you! and heck do you care about figure?!
Yep, i'm fatter and i don't care. If you care enough, then why don't you do what you are about to say for yourself?
Do you have a mirror?
Have you seen yourself lately?
How do you look?
How many more inches do your measuring tape needs for your waist?
Would you still be able to wear your suspenders without offending anyone?
WHAT MAKES YOU FATTER THESE DAYS (then)?
1. WHOLE GRAIN OAT COOKIES ARE BAD COOKIES. You know why? 'coz after you have swallowed the first, you still crave for more! Some will say, "they don't contain fats anyway.", well review what you have learned when you've been thought how to read: 1/3 Less Fat* (so, where the hell 2/3 has gone?). I have a pack of 6 pieces times 3 cookies, equals 18 cookies times 1.4g of fat equals 252 GRAMS! For crying out loud, that is my 5 thighs of fried chicken!
2. NOVEMBER TO FEBRUARY IS YOUR WEATHER. Freezin' cold from dust to dawn, no burnin' sun light, no EFFin' sweat to sweat your excess fats away!
3. THE SINFUL BED. when you're cold, you buy more time to be with your cuddler tempting bed. It just seduces you; and your parents wouldn't wake you up since they know that you're responsible with your TIME-MANAGEMENT (well, mum, dad, NOT ANYMORE! I USED TO BE, BUT, I AM CHANGED, SO.. WAKE ME UP!). Unfortunately, sleeping would give you plus inch everywhere.
4. YOUR DREAM JOB. Yes, you've gone up to bed and even on your way to your office. Well, you're getting paid by listening to your half naked trainer talking vain and vague, while having a sip of your coffee and bite of your favorite RAISIN COOKIE (i <3 my JOB)! Indeed, attention and a little thinking is required (for the first 3 hours). After lunch break at 3am, how'd you think you would feel? You have heavier eye lids, protesting stomach, foamed-comfortable-slouchy office's chairs, dead seatmates, will you survive? The dream job is another fat thickenner!
5. SCIENCE. Remember METABOLISM? Well, i do. It's how your body systems function - (a verb). Normal digestion of food intake would be an average of 3 hours, if you don't move your a**, it could have been longer. So, who would move an a** one very cold morning of january when all still snores? Would you jog? Hell no!
6. PERFECT MUM. Who wouldn't let you do chores, who would prepare your DVD's for marathon, who would get your warm bath ready, who would even scratch your back if you feel the itch, who would give you hard-soothing-relaxing oil masage, who would shut your neighbors up because you need sleep for you are tired from YOUR DREAM JOB, and, who would cook your favorite food if you feel like eating 'em (just say the magic words).
7. YOUR HANDY FB. You don't have to exert an effort on sitting in front of your computer because your FACEBOOK is on your palm and you can surf layin' on your bed. Well, i'm sure you know what.
8. NOT ENROLLED. Thinking would burn you more calories than push ups. So, if you drop school, that's less thinking equals burn no more calories (and you don't do push ups either)! Plus stress with exams, quizzes, term papers, projects, etc gives you a hint for diet, where's school now?
9. DOUBLE PAY. Safe to say you have 2 days of double pay for holidays but you have a total of 6 celebration (24, 25, 26, 31, 1, 2) for it plus 4 consecutive Christmas parties and 2 family reunions (hella lot of food!) equals fat arse!
10. YOU DON'T PLAY FINDER'S KEEPERS. So you keep your chocolate gifts for yourself and find your sister's then eat 'em when no one's watching! (why would i give mine away if they have gifts of their own?)
if you've been hit, well, it's for you!
But, this is for the lady in red in front of me while i put on my make up. ;D
r: SEXY!
k: yes? *wink*
r: DREAM ON!
k: fine! >.<
Being sexy is not only measured by your vital statistic, being able to attract people of opposite sex is a clear evidence.
Furthermore, in case you don't consider yourself sexy, INSECURITY wouldn't find your way out! It could even worsen the crossroads! And, if you wish to be sexy or slimmer, BE CAREFUL. As the line of the song goes:
'be careful what you wish,
cause you might get it!' (or something that sounds like that)
thanks,
-kim
P.S. This is for myself! No offense. PAX! ;)
Yep, i'm fatter and i don't care. If you care enough, then why don't you do what you are about to say for yourself?
Do you have a mirror?
Have you seen yourself lately?
How do you look?
How many more inches do your measuring tape needs for your waist?
Would you still be able to wear your suspenders without offending anyone?
WHAT MAKES YOU FATTER THESE DAYS (then)?
1. WHOLE GRAIN OAT COOKIES ARE BAD COOKIES. You know why? 'coz after you have swallowed the first, you still crave for more! Some will say, "they don't contain fats anyway.", well review what you have learned when you've been thought how to read: 1/3 Less Fat* (so, where the hell 2/3 has gone?). I have a pack of 6 pieces times 3 cookies, equals 18 cookies times 1.4g of fat equals 252 GRAMS! For crying out loud, that is my 5 thighs of fried chicken!
2. NOVEMBER TO FEBRUARY IS YOUR WEATHER. Freezin' cold from dust to dawn, no burnin' sun light, no EFFin' sweat to sweat your excess fats away!
3. THE SINFUL BED. when you're cold, you buy more time to be with your cuddler tempting bed. It just seduces you; and your parents wouldn't wake you up since they know that you're responsible with your TIME-MANAGEMENT (well, mum, dad, NOT ANYMORE! I USED TO BE, BUT, I AM CHANGED, SO.. WAKE ME UP!). Unfortunately, sleeping would give you plus inch everywhere.
4. YOUR DREAM JOB. Yes, you've gone up to bed and even on your way to your office. Well, you're getting paid by listening to your half naked trainer talking vain and vague, while having a sip of your coffee and bite of your favorite RAISIN COOKIE (i <3 my JOB)! Indeed, attention and a little thinking is required (for the first 3 hours). After lunch break at 3am, how'd you think you would feel? You have heavier eye lids, protesting stomach, foamed-comfortable-slouchy office's chairs, dead seatmates, will you survive? The dream job is another fat thickenner!
5. SCIENCE. Remember METABOLISM? Well, i do. It's how your body systems function - (a verb). Normal digestion of food intake would be an average of 3 hours, if you don't move your a**, it could have been longer. So, who would move an a** one very cold morning of january when all still snores? Would you jog? Hell no!
6. PERFECT MUM. Who wouldn't let you do chores, who would prepare your DVD's for marathon, who would get your warm bath ready, who would even scratch your back if you feel the itch, who would give you hard-soothing-relaxing oil masage, who would shut your neighbors up because you need sleep for you are tired from YOUR DREAM JOB, and, who would cook your favorite food if you feel like eating 'em (just say the magic words).
7. YOUR HANDY FB. You don't have to exert an effort on sitting in front of your computer because your FACEBOOK is on your palm and you can surf layin' on your bed. Well, i'm sure you know what.
8. NOT ENROLLED. Thinking would burn you more calories than push ups. So, if you drop school, that's less thinking equals burn no more calories (and you don't do push ups either)! Plus stress with exams, quizzes, term papers, projects, etc gives you a hint for diet, where's school now?
9. DOUBLE PAY. Safe to say you have 2 days of double pay for holidays but you have a total of 6 celebration (24, 25, 26, 31, 1, 2) for it plus 4 consecutive Christmas parties and 2 family reunions (hella lot of food!) equals fat arse!
10. YOU DON'T PLAY FINDER'S KEEPERS. So you keep your chocolate gifts for yourself and find your sister's then eat 'em when no one's watching! (why would i give mine away if they have gifts of their own?)
if you've been hit, well, it's for you!
But, this is for the lady in red in front of me while i put on my make up. ;D
r: SEXY!
k: yes? *wink*
r: DREAM ON!
k: fine! >.<
Being sexy is not only measured by your vital statistic, being able to attract people of opposite sex is a clear evidence.
Furthermore, in case you don't consider yourself sexy, INSECURITY wouldn't find your way out! It could even worsen the crossroads! And, if you wish to be sexy or slimmer, BE CAREFUL. As the line of the song goes:
'be careful what you wish,
cause you might get it!' (or something that sounds like that)
thanks,
-kim
P.S. This is for myself! No offense. PAX! ;)
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